Ownership

Last week we took a communication assessment and there were two questions which really made me think.

Do people often interrupt you when you speak?  And do you often feel like people do not listen or hear you?

I have always been frustrated during conversations with people over these very topics.  People often interrupt me while I am speaking, and sense I was raised to listen while people speak, I always stop speaking.

There is a staff member at work who does not maintain the standards of quality which is required to meet the NAEYC accreditation criteria and Air Force regulations.  As a lead teacher she has a responsibility to mentor and model to others, yet she fails to do so.  I have addressed my frustrations with her supervisor and mine, to no avail.  Yet year after year, inspection after inspect we receive “hits” on our inspections due to her lack of compliance.  She is not responsive to my guidance nor my efforts to implement change.

Last week I spoke with my supervisor once again. Instead of just reporting my observations and frustrations to him, I utilized the “I” message technique. I said, “I feel very frustrated when my efforts to improve the quality of care offered to children and strategies to influence change within Ms. X  go unexecuted.” I continued by saying, “I would really appreciate any guidance you could give me to be more affective in my efforts to help Mrs.X be successful as a classroom teacher.”

Asking my boss for guidance put the ownership of the problem on him. When I stated the problem in a positive fashion and stated that my goal was for her to be successful, rather than just wanting her to do the work, he was more willing to listen and help me.  Using “I” messages as well as releasing the ownership of the problem over to him, allowed me to release the stress I had over the situation. Using these methods set the tone for a respectful and reciprocal exchange. These techniques also ensure NVC was practiced.

Another situation I had with Ms.X was when I was going to speak with her about Print Rich Environment.  I requested a colleague of mine, who also works with Ms. X, to sit in on the conversation I was going to have with her, to provide me feedback and possible strategies to improve my communication with her.  

After our meeting, my colleague suggested that I provide note paper and pen to Ms. X and request she takes notes of our conversation.  Then at the end of the conversation, ask Ms. X to explain her understanding of the topics we discussed.  She also suggested I ask her for a timeline in which I would be able to observe the implementation of the skills.  Implementing this strategy again puts the ownership of the situation on Ms. X, as she has explained her understanding and set a timeframe when the change will be observed within the program. This strategy should lessen my frustration because I do not hold the ownership of the conflict.

The Same Outlook

When I completed this week’s homework I found that I am very perceptive about my communication skills.  The two people I asked to help me with this assignment are very different in their feeling toward me. One person I asked is the Assistant Director of the program I work at.  She and I have a cordial relationship and are professional at work but really do not agree on many professional levels. She does not have the passion and professional outlook, as I do. She gossips, and breaks down the team with negative destructive behavior.  

The other person I chose to complete the survey, for me, was a preschool teacher from our program. We work very closely together and she is very receptive to my guidance. She has great passion for the children and families in the program and seeks to make a difference in the lives of children. 

Even though our perspectives are different the outcome of the survey results was very similar. Our scores were only a few points off. I felt this was interesting as even though the assistant director and I have very different viewpoints I treat her very respectfully and sincere.  She finds me annoying because I am nice to her every day, even though I know she doesn’t like me.

I treat everyone with equal respect and attention.  I listen and communicate in a way to connect with everyone in a positive and meaningful way.

Am I Communicating with You?

Do you want to communicate more effectively? There are three ways to can be a successful communicator.  

We must first begin by understanding and appreciating cultural differences. Often times we are set in our ways and want children and families to conform to the ways we think are best, rather than adapting our practices to meet the needs of others. Gonzalez-Mena (2010) describes it well as she relates it to cutting the apron strings. “For many people trained in early care and education, it is easy to see why cultures cut the apron strings and how they raise their children in preparation for this cutting. For those people, it may be hard seeing the other view and they may be extremely resistant to it” (Gonzalez-Mena, 2010, p.37).  Appreciating differences is one key to effective communication.

The second key to communicating more affectively is adapting they way we engage with others based on their cultural needs, how they want to be treated. Once we understand and appreciate the cultural differences between us, we adapt our practices to responsive to the needs of others.

Lastly, understanding the concepts of verbal and nonverbal can aid in effective communication. Much of what we have learned relates to the understanding of cultures and customs of others.  Each class within this degree program has emphasized the importance of understanding the intricacies of cultures. This is impossible to accomplish if we shelter ourselves within the American culture which surrounding us.  Early childhood professional are ethically responsible to seek out opportunities to learning about the world, its cultures, and customs.

To tie these three strategies together to accomplish these goals, we need to listen, learn, and experience the world beyong ourselves.

Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

The Big Bang Theory

I recently stumbled onto CBS’s Bug Bang Theory (Prady, 2009). I am not usually one to watch sitcoms but, my daughter was visiting and introduced me to it. I thought it was clever and funny.  For this blog I watched Season 2, episode 13 of The Big Bang Theory -The Friendship Algorithm.

When I watched it without the sound I could see that Sheldon wants to explain an algorithm flow chat to his friends.  His friends seem annoyed by his antics and disinterested in his theory.  While Sheldon is on the phone his friends change some content on the flow chat. Sheldon is annoyed but seems to question the viability of the new perspective. Sheldon is very excited about what he trying to explain.

After watching the same episode with the sound on, I found my interpretation of the silent version was pretty accurate.  However his friends were not changing his flow chart for any other reason but to help him out of a rut he was in while demonstrating his theory.

I am not sure if I have a biased opinion of the show, as the underlying theme of each episode revolved around Sheldon annoying his friends and being needy for their attention and assistance.

An assumption I had about the comparison of verbal and non-verbal viewing of the episode involved my own biases of the program. In many aspects of communication our biases often interfere with the accuracy of the message received.

                                                                

                                                                     Reference

Prady, B. (Producer). (2009). The Big Bang Theory [Television Series]. [With Jim Parsons, Johnny Galecki, Kaley  Cuoco, Simon Helberg, & Kunal Nayyar]. Los Angeles, CA: Central Broadcast System.